Ugly on the Inside (in more ways than one)

The title of that song, the song itself is an indictment of a person's superficial character.  It comes from an indignant place, of resignation and frustration.  The first time I heard it, I wasn't exactly in that place emotionally, but I wasn't far from it so that song hit like a ton of bricks.  Now I'm flipping the title's meaning, because I can't sleep and I feel sick to my stomach, uneasy because of aspects of a reality I have been given to digest, that up till currently I could have only assumed and imagined from a distance.  A lot of what goes on in the world makes me feel ill in that way, but in this case it's deeply personal.  I recognize these feelings I'm experiencing as ugly feelings, in response to what I will always consider ugly actions.  In dualistic terms, we know beauty courtesy of contrast. I am feeling that contrast right now, a somber resignation of having chosen a path to avoid ugliness, but knowing that others choose differently.  I'd rather be righteous than right.  I'd rather see someone redeemed than have my reservations vindicated, but you can't make choices for people, and the choices this world promotes are Destructive and Empty.  That is why I reject it, and it's masked ugliness and its toxic nature.