it's probably me

the difference in how much a lover gets hurt depends on how well intended they are pursuing the relationship and how committed and invested they are. the more you give of yourself, the harder it is to recovery what you lost.  even if you agree to the terms of a relationship, if you want more than you have bargained for and give what you want without reciprocity, it is going to hit you a lot harder than the party that is less invested. but that is because of your own feelings. you could always decline an offer with questionable or unspecified terms. if you accept and come out on the short side of nothing, it is your cross to bear.  if you got mislead, that is another thing altogether. that is cruelty plain and simple. then again, insincere people probably assume everyone else is also insincere, so there's that. but that is not a justification for heart crimes. love and honesty are part and parcel.  we have to be honest with ourselves and then we can be honest with each other.