Mouthful of Cavities

There are days like these, where life's interactions leave me feeling the same way I've felt the last few times I've gone to the dentist, dating back to 1998.  It's that feeling of learning that a part of you hasn't held up and needs to be salvaged or extricated or it will only cause you pain.  The reality of your fragility, the vulnerability that comes with being human can be unsettling.  But it's reality, and there's something to be said for living with  reality in mind.  The pragmatist would say to focus on what's possible, what's realistic, what's attainable, and learn to appreciate it and you will be a happier person for it.  The problem with people is that they aren't rational all the time.  We give our selves fits and make our selves sick negotiating the knotted emotions we get wrapped up in.

Eventually reality reigns supreme, and  that emotional bubble gets burst by the spike that's been looming in the periphery all along.  It's a sudden, steep descent, and it leaves you feeling all out of sorts.  Other times it's like a spoonful of the worst tasting medicine being lifted to your mouth slowly when you're already nauseated and on the verge of being physically ill.  You wont get better if you don't take the dose, and doing so may turn your stomach and make you feel even sicker.  Or maybe it's like that sharp pain of the injection going into your gum-line that numbs you before the dentist engages his drill to fill a cavity?  Either way, what at one point is a fullness of feeling is vacated, and the emptiness in its wake leaves you feeling bewildered, wondering, "What is this? What just happened?"