Wake Me When It's Over

I love this song.  Have since the first time I heard it on Longwave's The Strangest Things.  It just taps into a mood and vibe that is where I usually am, and I'm comfortable there.  It's a pretty dense slab of sonic vibe. The simple sentiment the phrase evoked in the title speaks volumes to my perspective on so much of what life has been like in the difficult times.  It harkens back to the reality that I have been, and will remain an escape artist.  Right now I'm escaping from writing two posts that require a little more focus and commitment than I currently fell apt to volunteer. I'm more inclined to just be, and in that I am escaping into myself, away from the world at large, other than the one of my own making, within these wall, within this flesh, within my mind.  The truth is, I am my own fortress of solitude, a jagged crystal castle of instructive recollections from imposing figures.

All that said, if you always feel like you're at a crossroads, that's just life telling you that you're indecisive, at least that's my take on it.  That's why I'm posed with choices that aren't really choices, situations where acceptance and acquiescence are the best tools for making peace with your circumstances.  It's easy to get lazy, to get frustrated, to get overwhelmed.  Putting vice over virtue, BS over betterment. This spring, yeah, I think it was spring, I found inspiration in the pursuit of the unattainable, if only for a moment, almost guaranteeing I'd resent something or someone when I failed to follow through, or prosper for my passion.  But as it goes with someone like me, passion is fleeting, and honor is the thing that carries you over the long haul.  Sans honor, all things we value will collapse, because there will be no merit in maintaining them.  In nature entropy wins.  I'm not of the sort that can watch things fall apart, impermanence invoked, mortality invoked.  In time I've grown to feel the same way about the hollowness of ceremony and celebration marking one day of greater significance than another, simply because we want it to be, whereas we try and tell each other to value each day because we aren't promised the next.  So, for the sake of cognitive continuity, I feel happier sleeping through all the festivities so all my days play the same, and what I find worth remembering and treasuring comes out of the part of my life that seems the most real to me.