Tonight I NEEDED to make music. We'd had band practice for 2 or 3 weeks in a row, and for anyone who's been in a band that had the potential get in synch and vibe off each other musically, there are few things that are as cathartic and relaxing. It was an especially hectic week at work, with less than maybe 20 hours of sleep over the last six days. I slept more last night, but lost my wallet this morning, which sent the day into a downward spiral of frantic searching, up until I found it, and was free to go about my business. Band practice was up in the air, which was bittersweet after spending all those waking hours without sleep listening to some great music.
The music I love the most is usually so well executed I can't hope to emulate it without sounding like mediocre mimicry. Instead I rely on my writing from the past. I spent my early through mid-twenties trying to find consistent employment and negotiating emotional stress and heartache through songwriting. I learned my craft and instruments as I learned to live with myself and cope with life, with the ambition of being as prolific as Ani Difranco. In the span of 3 years I wrote nearly 200 songs. From those I culled 10 albums, and I never stopped writing, but I reserved writing to being without goals. No more album projects, just songs for the sake of songs, for the of sanity. I fully embraced music as a therapeutic device and let go of the idea that it was going to be a trade I could ply into any sort of means of income. Shifting from the pursuit of getting people to listen to me learn to be the musician, the artist, I believed I had the potential and talent to become allowed me to get on the path to get a decent job that had enough going for it that if it's my career for the rest of my professional life, I won't have any regrets. The stability that came with that put me in a position to return to music with a clear head, and I'd like to think a certain level of maturity that lets me appreciate the inspirations that fueled my best work early on in the songwriting process when I had fewer skills and resources. This song is one of those inspired moments, that I am finally competent enough to record and not be embarrassed by the ineptitude of the results. This is by no means the ideal recording, but it's a good enough representation of the song that I feel joy listening to it, my idea having come to life finally. It's especially fitting that this song about existential loneliness and the lack of recognition of one's potential came to life when the same things that had me down at the time continue near 10 years later. Now, instead of writing about being without constant companions to help me fulfill my dreams, I work to create the space and means to fulfill them on my own and share the results of my pursuit with those I care about. All that said, here's a very important song for me, the guitar melody originated in 1999-2000, and the lyrics were rewritten and the melody of the guitar part altered in 2003.
This could be
Who dares walk on water That resides among us
No one has the power To stride upon the sea
Is that feat required Proof one can enlighten
Those of us encumbered By the lives we lead
This could be the start of something beautiful
This could be a part of something useful
This could be the heart of something crucial
But does it even matter to you
Prayers for the answers Cast into forever
Infinitely pleading Humbled and then emptied
Do they fall on deaf ears Is there someone, something
Listening intently That never will stop loving me
This could be the start of something beautiful
This could be a part of something useful
This could be the heart of something crucial
But does it even matter to you
Are we as the flame is When it is extinguished
Snuffed out of existence How’d it come to be lit
This could be the start of something beautiful
This could be a part of something useful
This could be the heart of something crucial
But does it even matter to you
The music I love the most is usually so well executed I can't hope to emulate it without sounding like mediocre mimicry. Instead I rely on my writing from the past. I spent my early through mid-twenties trying to find consistent employment and negotiating emotional stress and heartache through songwriting. I learned my craft and instruments as I learned to live with myself and cope with life, with the ambition of being as prolific as Ani Difranco. In the span of 3 years I wrote nearly 200 songs. From those I culled 10 albums, and I never stopped writing, but I reserved writing to being without goals. No more album projects, just songs for the sake of songs, for the of sanity. I fully embraced music as a therapeutic device and let go of the idea that it was going to be a trade I could ply into any sort of means of income. Shifting from the pursuit of getting people to listen to me learn to be the musician, the artist, I believed I had the potential and talent to become allowed me to get on the path to get a decent job that had enough going for it that if it's my career for the rest of my professional life, I won't have any regrets. The stability that came with that put me in a position to return to music with a clear head, and I'd like to think a certain level of maturity that lets me appreciate the inspirations that fueled my best work early on in the songwriting process when I had fewer skills and resources. This song is one of those inspired moments, that I am finally competent enough to record and not be embarrassed by the ineptitude of the results. This is by no means the ideal recording, but it's a good enough representation of the song that I feel joy listening to it, my idea having come to life finally. It's especially fitting that this song about existential loneliness and the lack of recognition of one's potential came to life when the same things that had me down at the time continue near 10 years later. Now, instead of writing about being without constant companions to help me fulfill my dreams, I work to create the space and means to fulfill them on my own and share the results of my pursuit with those I care about. All that said, here's a very important song for me, the guitar melody originated in 1999-2000, and the lyrics were rewritten and the melody of the guitar part altered in 2003.
This could be
Who dares walk on water That resides among us
No one has the power To stride upon the sea
Is that feat required Proof one can enlighten
Those of us encumbered By the lives we lead
This could be the start of something beautiful
This could be a part of something useful
This could be the heart of something crucial
But does it even matter to you
Prayers for the answers Cast into forever
Infinitely pleading Humbled and then emptied
Do they fall on deaf ears Is there someone, something
Listening intently That never will stop loving me
This could be the start of something beautiful
This could be a part of something useful
This could be the heart of something crucial
But does it even matter to you
Are we as the flame is When it is extinguished
Snuffed out of existence How’d it come to be lit
This could be the start of something beautiful
This could be a part of something useful
This could be the heart of something crucial
But does it even matter to you
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