So, I previewed a blog about "How to Be Single". You could call it "How Not To Be A Player" if we're dealing in terms of whack 90s movies. So here goes, a break down of relationship breakdowns, a simple guide to losing your interest in being romantically involved (sans the really embarrassing details) :
As Pre-schooler, treat all girls you like as if you hate them. Torment them for the sake of getting their attention.
Witness the archetypical relationship in your life, your parents, end the summer Tears For Fears Shout comes out, and Cruel Summer by Bananarama. Listen to, learn to love, but never question why there are copies of the 12" singles for Owner of A Lonely Heart & If You Love Someone Set Them Free (keep them in your possession for perpetuity) in your parents' record collection.
Starting with 2nd Grade never tell anyone flatly that you like them. Keep it secret, beat around the bush, and then wait till the last possible minute to unleash some grand gesture and admission of your feelings, only to find out they aren't reciprocated or it's just not practical or wouldn't be moral if they were. Also, set a song about a little girl to the Transformers theme music melody, slowed down to a crawl (cause their names have 3 syllables, all three girls I wrote em' for), be aware that its genius doesn't hold up over time.
Humor and then withdraw from the girls who are obviously and demonstratively "into you" for the warm comfort of halfheartedly humoring the thought of being involved with someone out of your reach for whatever reason.
Become so self-involved and able to entertain yourself that having to find time for someone else becomes an alienating process and leaves you seeking someone with the exact same interests manifesting in the exact same ways, or at least ways that compliment your predispositions.
Never learn how to comfortably communicate with couples, only individuals one at a time in isolation, so that all social interactions involving couples become ultra-awkward and frustrating. It doesn't hurt to loath couples-based activities either.
More to come...
Basically TBR (Toilet Bowl Reading).
Through 2014 each post was named for a song, which is linked in its title. click to listen (preferably launch in a new tab or window though)
2015 onward: I have no clue what will inspire my rambling, as if I needed anything in the first place? The reigns are off, and the rambling truly begins.
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