Reset

When all else fails, sometimes you just have to start over from scratch, when possible.  That's the theme for this week.  Things that seem reliable turn into things that require so much maintenance it seems there is no justifiable reason to stick with them, other than masochism.  That was my experience with technology courtesy of a fatal error prompted by a Microsoft Update on Two Computers that rendered them inoperative.  One required a complete reformatting of the machine, the other an extensive system repair.

In the realm of the flesh and blood the same happened.  I'd been coasting on an approach to life that seemed to work but it was taking its toll and there didn't seem to be much I could do to adjust the trajectory of my shortfalls and deficits.  It had gotten to the point where I was willing to just blow everything off for the sake of some peace of mind.  All that does is corner you into making a choice between further alienating yourself from the existence you have created for yourself, or forcing your hand to do something because you have no other choice.  Either situation creates pressure and desperation.  In my effort to come up with the simplest life rules to pass along to anyone who'll listen, I've got one to add to my list which was three, and now four:

1. Don't Mess Up.
2. When you do mess up, learn from your mistake and don't do it again.
3. Don't be desperate.
4. When you feel desperate, if possible, stop what you're doing and reconsider the 1st rule.

Clarity

The only way to see things clearly, is to be open to seeing things in the first place.  Clarity requires a unique combination of focus and a wide field of vision.  Are you really seeing things clearly if you have blind spots, or too narrow a perspective?

I've decided to open up my eyes a little more these days, perk up my ears, let down my guard.  I've decided to look on the bright side when you would think times were dark, and have found that nothing could be further from the truth.  It's all a matter of how you look at it.  When you see things clearly, the truth reveals itself.  The truth will set you free.

To me, this song, which opens the album Heavier Things, is a fusion of aesthetics, an anthem for the recombination of styles that happens when people are optimistic about the potential of things changing, rather than retreating from uncertainty and entrenching themselves in what's familiar.  I LOVE this song, it's so blissful, and yet so groovy.  It makes you want to whistle, it makes you want to nod your head or dance.  It makes you want to smile. It's a happy reunion with a kindred spirit.  It's the sound of being able to see the good in people, the promise in life.

God Put A Smile On Your Face.

Man plans, God* laughs...

I'm fond of Scientific Reasoning, and Logic.  They are the mortar to the bricks of reality as I know it.  They are an owner's manual to this corporeal reality.  But they fail.  They completely fall apart; and not at some tricky point in the future, but simply at the point of origin.

Science is built on causal relationships, basic cause and effect.  First comes this, then comes that.  Every step closer we come to the "beginning of the universe" the closer we come to the befuddling reality that existence sprang out of nothingness, or simply out of some other state that preceded it, that we simply chose not to consider part of existence as we understand it.  This defies logic, and requires a certain suspension of disbelief.

Logically, you can't get something from nothing.  "Nature abhors a vacuum." The Universe can't emerge out of nothingness. Matter is neither created nor destroyed, so something had to proceed the Universe in its current state; and if so, what preceded that? Perhaps the Universe cycles from the state it was in prior to our existence beginning and back again in an infinite loop?  But where did this loop come from?  How did that happen?

The only answer at this point, is a cliche, "Que sera, sera."  "It is what it is." "What shall be, shall be." In logic, that's called Circular Reasoning. An example would be an argument like so, "It is that way because that is the way it is." You can't argue with the statement because it proves itself.  This is called a Tautology. You can't refute or defend Circular Reasoning or a Tautological Argument, and as such they are considered invalid arguments and unscientific.

Even though false arguments are frowned upon, it's impossible to avoid asserting one basic Tautology right under our noses, one indispensable for all reasoning, Scientific or Philosophical: The Universe's existence is self-evident by our perception of it.  Even if we accept that as a starting point for our reasoning within the constraints of science and philosophy our perception and understanding of the Universe and Reality is inherently limited.  We live in a room, and there is a door that is closed. To make sense of the room, we have to assume that the door doesn't open. We come to a point where we know and understand the contents of the room like the back our hands, but there's still that door. If it opens, we have no explanation or justification for what lies beyond the door, even if, especially if, it's nothing at all.

If a wise man build's his house upon the rock, what are we if the crux of our scientific understanding of the universe defies logic and sets an arbitrary beginning to existence? The only rectification of that limited understanding of our Universe and its nature seems to require Omniscience, and belief in the concept of Omniscience is generally deemed unscientific and illogical. But what is the aim of Scientific Inquiry & Philosophy if not some measure of Omniscience? Again, when turned upon themselves, logical arguments and scientific reasoning collapse under their own weight, an intellectual black hole.  If so, what constitutes an intellectual white hole?

All of this makes the significance and uniqueness of being alive in the midst of this reality all the greater. There is no greater miracle than having the power to perceive. When I look it that way, the hubris that people have when they speak of Knowing, rather than Accepting an idea about the reality we exist in, I can't help but feel that the joke is on them, as if I'm in on the joke. In reality, the joke's on me too. Better to laugh with, than be laughed at.

*For the purposes of argument, the nature or conceptualization of God is a matter of individual perception of omnipresent omnipotent omniscience, which is in itself a limiting qualification. The irony of that doesn't escape me, it's actually the point.

Diamonds & Pearls by Surrogate

The old way of finding bands by association still pays off. For me, the last 11 years of listening have been immensely satisfying because I've still found my music through projects affiliated with bands & labels I follow. I'll skip the exposition and just declare Surrogate one of the best long term investments of this process. Their EP Diamonds & Pearls, which I linked in the title is an all-time favorite. It's music I feel to the core of my being. It's just perfection as far as my taste is concerned, that is, of course, if alternative rock is your thing.

A foreshadowing of what's to come.

Great song on a great album by a much overlooked great artist.  He's in full Joni Mitchell mode on this one, and it's a good fit. It's a beautiful and serene piece of music and I wish more people could get past Barely Breathing and recognize his talent.  I guess Spring Awakening made some strides on his behalf in that regard.

Mainly I just want to start listing all the new releases I keep hearing announced and then forgetting about because either dates are not set or they get lost in the shuffle.  To supplement all the Facebook and twitter album announcements I'm going through Allmusic.com 's release dates to catch any ones I didn't know about or had forgotten.


2/11
Meg Myers - Make A Shadow
2/25
St. Vincent - s/t
The Fray - Helios
3/11
KXM - s/t
3/18
Kevin Drew - Darlings
Taking Back Sunday - Happiness Is...
3/25
Margot & The Nuclear So and Sos - Slingshot to Heaven
4/1
Band of Skulls - Himalayan
Manchester Orchestra - Cope
Joan As Police Woman - The Classic
S. Carey - Range of Light
4/8
Merriment - Sway
4/15
Jack Bruce - Silver Rails 
Afghan Whigs - Due to the Beast 
The Both (Aimee Mann and Ted Leo)
Emerson Hart - Beauty In Disrepair 
4/29
Ghost of A Sabretooth Tiger - Midnight Sun
5/6
Lykke Li - Never Learn
Sarah McLachlan - Shine On
tUnE-yArDs - Nikki Nack
Ben & Ellen Harper - Childhood Home
5/13
The Black Keys - Turn Blue
Tori Amos - Unrepentant Geraldines
Rene Lopez - Paint The Moon Gold
5/20
Coldplay - Ghost Stories
6/3
Joe Henry - Invisible Hour
Centro-Matic - Take Pride In Your Long Odds
Meshell N'Degeocello - Comet Come To Me
6/10
Conditions - Missing Hours
Jack White - Lazaretto
6/17
Anders Parker - The Is A Bluebird In My HEart
Say Hi - Endless Wonder
7/8
Pinnick Gales Pridgen - PGP2
7/15
Morrissey - World Peace Is None Of Your Business
Big Wreck - Ghosts
7/21
Gramercy Arms - The Seasons of Love
Anberlin - Lowborn
7/29
Tom Petty - Hypnotic Eye
8/12
Sinead O'Connor - I'm Not Bossy, I'm the Boss
Kimbra - The Golden Echo
8/19
Sarah Jaffe - Don't Disconnect
Imogen Heap - Sparks
9/2
Sucre - Loner
9/9
Robert Plant - Lullaby and the Ceaseless Roar
Ryan Adams - s/t
9/16
My Brightest Diamond - This Is My Hand
9/23
Julian Cassablancas and the Voidz - Tyranny
Marketa Iglova - Muna
Lenny Kravitz - Strut
Tweedy - Sukieray
9/30
Prince - Art Official Age
Third Eyed Girl - Plectrumelectrum

10/7
Minus the Bear - Lost Loves
Phil Selway -Weather house

10/14
Stars - No One Is Lost
Flyleaf - Between the Stars
Grinder Blues - s/t
U2 - Songs of Innocence
Sanctus Real - The Dream

10/21
Mark Lanegan Band - Phantom Radio

10/28
Daniel Lanois - Flesh and Machine
Live - The Turn
National Skyline - Love letters for the Disenchanted

11/11
Foo Fighters - Sonic Highways

11/18
Manchester Orchestra - Hope

11/25
Circa Survive - Descensus
Copeland - Ixora
Soundgarden - Echoes of Miles: Scatter (and Origins as a Stand Along CD)

12/9/2015
Smashing Pumpkins  - Monuments to an Elegy

It's A Figth Between My Heart and Mind, No One Really Wins This Time

Sometimes it only takes a few measure to start a song, start an album, to let you know that you have found a group of people in a band who have collectively tapped into something kindred spirit of musical actualization. Copeland was that band for me. This song, No One Really Wins... tears into catharsis with gusto.  It snaps me out of whatever I am into, and opens the floodgates of adrenaline.  But then you note the lyrics and find the core of the message is just as emotional and driven, which enhances the catharsis exponentially.  This is the epitome of song craft.  Copeland would go on the evolve musically, becoming a completely different sounding band, but still mining elements of the sounds that filled the album No One Really Wins... appears on (In Motion).  By the time You Are My Sunshine, their final album was released, they were easily one of my favorite bands, with a plethora of songs that helped buoy me through a tumultuous time in my life emotionally.  I've always been the kind of person who loves when an album opening is like starting an engine and accelerating onto the path to begin a journey.  This song is the beginning of such a journey.  Any song that ends with the line, "In the Endless Fight of Grace & Pride... I Don't Want to Win This Time" is worthy of heralding my travels in this life.

Desireless

So, back when Eagle-Eye Cherry was a thing, I was more intrigued by his pedigree and image than any particular song on his first album. The material left me completely unmoved, save for this beautiful tribute to his father, Don Cherry.

I've managed to work myself into a melancholy tonight, such that I want to write, but by my own rules, there isn't a song with words I want to listen to, or can evoke the mood I'm feeling.  It's a wordless recognition.  Of what?  Of the place I've created in my life to shelter myself and recover from the mental and emotional strain that comes from the ups and downs of living, of engaging with other people and investing in them, and their investments in me.

In a sense I'm feeling my solitude for what it is. I have to ask myself, is it a choice or a necessity, a consequence or an indulgence?  It's a little bit of all of that.  It's ambiguous and amorphous.  What I choose to do with it defines its impact on my feelings. I can make it a glorious time of self actualization, or I can put things in perspective and be contemplative about my past and my present, possibly my future.

I spend a lot of times just settling into myself, reconciling what I am, how that makes me feel, if it has or can ever evolve? I'm a curious person, a private person, and ultimately, a person who is wary of gambles, and more so, defeats.  One consequence of having a good long term memory is a recollection of every blow to the ego, every flight of fancy that crashed and burned.  Those upheavals, humbling moments that bring you down to earth... have a way of tempering your thoughts.  It doesn't take fear to keep you from making the same mistakes over and over, just a little disappointment is enough.  I've never been one to entertain an unpleasant experience for an after-effect that rang hollow.  It's this attitude that informs my state of mind at this moment.

The inquiry I have to stomach is this:  What is there that I am so greatly satisfied by, so enraptured by, that I would be willing to take a risk to have it in my life?  What am I willing to suffer for, and put above myself to have it in my company?  There really isn't much when I think about it.  If I'm being honest, the two things that win out above all others are Personal Freedom and Peace of Mind.  There are many ways to achieve these aims.  My actions have betrayed my convictions and my loyalties and passions are inward.  It just so happens that they are so deeply felt that they radiate outwardly and help me connect with others who seem to be of like mind.

If this is what it takes for me to be a well-adjusted, decent human being, I can't really complain.  When you can predict a future, you've got the freedom to choose different, if you want different.  I still don't.